Refuge.

I've been depressed lately. And by lately, I mean since about 9:30 P.M. Wednesday, June 19, 2013. And that's about all I'm going to say on the subject. The stuff I said in the last two posts about being happy and having the time of my life? Ignore that. It's gone. Done. Finished. *sigh*

But I'm not here to wallow in my depression. I'm here to talk, at least a little, about how I'm handling it. You have probably seen the pictures of books in previous posts, the stack that I have been accumulating since the beginning of the semester, which I will be digging through viciously once I get a chance. Well, that chance has come. My stack, as of Wednesday afternoon, was at 26 books. I went out Thursday afternoon and got 7 more, bringing my total up to 33. Yes, when I'm depressed, I go to the bookstore. I don't go out drinking or gambling. I go buy books.

My stack is now down to 27. I've read 5 books in 5 days. And they weren't easy books, either. All told, easily 2200-2500 pages combined. And I'm not going to stop. I have 27 books and 2 months, and every single one of those books is going to be finished by the time I start the fall semester.

But why? At least in my mind, the explanation is simple. I don't like my life. I don't like the world I'm living in. It sucks. So, I leave it. Not permanently. Suicide is never the answer. And not in any way that harms my body--never alcohol or drugs. No, if something has a lasting effect on me, I want it to be positive. So I leave this world for the world of my books. I've been to three alternate Earths, and two other planets. I'll talk about them in a moment. But they've been my refuges, my escapes from this Earth. If I could, I would go live on one of them, somewhere else.

First, I read the second Alcatraz book by Brandon Sanderson. It was probably just as funny as the first one, which I have decided is the funniest book I've ever read. And this one actually made me laugh out loud at least three times while I was reading it, no mean feat on the worst day of my life. Thank you, Mr. Sanderson.

Then I read WARP, the new book by Eoin Colfer. I loved his Artemis Fowl series, and so I got this one in hardcover, new from the bookstore. It was good. It felt a lot like the Artemis Fowl series, which was fine by me, because I love those. It would be nice to get something that felt different from an author, but I'm just fine with the same stuff, because I have plenty of different authors to pull from when I need something else.

The Crimson Crown, by Cinda Williams Chima, was excellent. It was a powerful finish to her Seven Realms series. It felt fresh and new, and at the same time, utterly familiar. The rooftop scene was painful for me to read. Her books feel a lot like Tamora Pierce, to me. I'm really looking forward to Chima's next book. I'm moving more lately (Not that you can tell from the books I've already listed...) into fantasy, and away from the YA, but there's a few authors that I will stick with, and she's definitely one of them.

I dug into Mur's book, The Shambling Guide to New York City. I don't do Urban Fantasy, almost as a rule. I don't really have any other books that I would really class in the same category. And that's just fine. It's just not my thing. But this book, this was a good book. Well written, strongly paced, it pulled me along all the way through. And it had a few good parts that made me laugh as well, something I desperately needed. This is definitely a series that I will be following through as more books come out.

And finally, I read The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Up until this point, I was at 4 books in 3 days. Alcatraz is middle grade, and I would say that WARP and Crimson Crown are both YA. The Shambling Guide is urban fantasy. Name of the Wind is Epic Fantasy. Like I said earlier, I like to get lost in my worlds. The more richly realized a world is, the longer and more personal the story is, the longer and more convincingly I can get lost. That's why I love Epic Fantasy. Epic Fantasy fits The Name of the Wind like a sock. From page 125, "In some ways, this is where the story begins." It's beautifully done, and quite original. I will be starting Wise Man's Fear, the sequel, tonight. It should take me a good few days, since I have finals this week for the summer semester. I will also be buying the sequel in hardcover on release day. This is definitely one of my all time favorite authors and series, and I can't wait for more.

So yeah. Next time you're depressed, don't leave the world by hurting yourself in others in any way. Rather, let a marvelous and beautiful book transport you to somewhere far away.

Hair Part 2.

A while back, I wrote a post about hair. It's a bit fragmented and scatter-brained, sorry. You can read it if you want. It tells the story of how my Calculus II teacher cut his hair and freaked everyone out. I liked what he did so much that I decided to do the same thing. Here is 17" of my hair that was cut off and donated to Locks of Love.

Not only that, but because I made a school decision--I will be at UT Austin in the fall, I dyed the hair that was left brilliant orange. Plus, I shaved, and all that. It was quite a shocking change, but I like it. Here's what I looked like.

By now, the dye has worn off, so it's partly bleached, partly normal color, while it grows out. I'll be going to get it cut at the beginning of July, so it will look normal for orientation and my ID picture at UT. As normal as it can look for being short.

I cut and dyed my hair the week of finals, so it was like the picture above when I went in for classes that last week. The reactions I got were priceless. I have video recordings of several of them. I don't think I'll ever post them, because some people, shall we say, over-reacted. But they make me smile.

I've liked having my hair short. For the first few weeks, I missed having long hair. But now, I like how easy it is to wash and take care of, so it will probably stay short for the foreseeable future.

That's about all I have to say on the subject of hair right now. As far as life, it's been nuts, but I'm having the time of my life. I'll be trying to write some more posts soon to bring you guys up to speed.

Classes Are Over

So, I turned in my last assignment this morning. I have nothing else to do for this semester except wait for my grades. I hope they're good.

It was a long semester. Very long. And yet, all to short. I could have used at least a week's worth of extra days, sprinkled in there when things all happened at once. But that's the past, and I survived. My grades should be in by Thursday.

But I won't be at home then. I'm leaving tomorrow morning to spend a week in North Carolina, fossil hunting. I'll probably write and post several more times during that time.

This is just a quick post to say that classes are over, and I will be coming back. I've got a lot of things that I want to talk about, and I'm never at a loss for words, so don't worry about that. There will be more posts. Lots of them. :)

I'm finally, finally, finally reading a book. One of like 25 I have sitting here waiting for me. I wonder how many I'll conquer before the summer semester starts. A lot, I hope.

I fell off the rice and planet hunting train during finals week (That's a post in itself, right there.). I stuck with the writing though. My project derailed itself at the beginning of the week, and I mostly did random streams of consciousness and brainstorms on other ideas that I have, but I was still writing. Sometimes on my phone after I went to bed. But I did it every day. I'll decide soon if I want to try to fix the first project, or just move on to something new.

Good things are happening in my life, but I'm not allowed to say anything for two weeks. You'll know when I am. :)

Trophy Wall

Another quick update on me. I'm still doing what I always do, working on schoolwork. Above is a picture of my trophies for this semester--the testing center forms for all of the tests that I've done. In the upper left is the form I had to fill out to petition to take an overload of classes this semester.

I'm quite proud of my trophy wall.

I have completely finished my history class, so these last three weeks, it feels like I only have 17 hours.

I don't have any tests this coming week, although that's fine because of how much homework and whatnot I have.

Next week I'll have 1 test.

Then I have 4 in class finals the last week. Because two of them are each spread out over two days, it's going to feel like 6 exams.

I'm looking forward to it. I'll probably make a post sometime near then about what scores I'll actually need on the finals to make an A in each class.

Rice and writing are going fine. I've broken 100 days in a row in writing.

I have at least 20 books on my to-read pile now, so... Yeah. I'm thinking that I'm going to try to review them when I finally get around to reading them. I need to find a direction for this blog; I'm thinking about going with book review+chronicle of my journey to becoming a writer. Because I will be a writer, dang it.

If you have any other suggestions for things I could blog about consistently, things that could be themes for my blog, post a suggestion in the comments. (School goes without saying.)

Quick Update

I'm still here, and I'm alive. I'm not depressed or anything, just crazy busy. I'm going to give myself permission to take the next 5 weeks off from this blog, so that I can finish out my semester, and not fail any of my classes.

I'm doing awesome in school. I turned in my history book report this weekend, after getting my essay approved the weekend before. That means, unless the teacher has something he wants me to change about the report, that I'm completely done with that class, making the end of the semester that much easier.

Easier? Ha. I have a government test tomorrow, as well as two math tests this weekend. I am scheduled for a total of 9 tests in the last five weeks of classes. And I'm going to get As on all of them, darn it.

I just wanted to let you guys know (I'm not sure why I bother. Nobody actually reads this.) that I am still alive, and will be returning to posting regularly as soon as I can.

Writing and Rice are going well.

Until later, bye all.

Priorities.

Priorities. They're important. I have them, and I know what they are. Some people might disagree with me, but in my personal opinion, I have them straight. (Then again, most people do, in their personal opinions. But that's not what this is about.)

I'm going to quote Dan Wells here. This quote comes, not from any of his books, but from an episode of Writing Excuses. I can't remember which one. During the episode, the podcasters were talking about motivation, and finding time for writing. Dan said, "When you do not have time for something, that is not an issue of scheduling, it is an issue of values."

Now, this seems a simple and obvious statement at first glance. And it is. But sometimes, seeing things so simply and clearly stated is what we need.

When you don't have time to write, it's because you don't value it, don't prioritize, it enough.

When you don't have time to do your schoolwork, it's because you don't prioritize it.

It's not because you have issues with scheduling your time efficiently. It's about what you prioritize.

Once I came to that realization, I accepted that there are just going to be some things that I'm not going to be able to do. Other things, I'll be able to do when I have the time for them. And some things, I'll prioritize, and make time for. I value these things more highly than anything else. Let me give you a list of what's at the top of my priorities, how I decide what absolutely must be done, and what can slide.

1. School.

2. Necessary Body stuff. (eating, etc.)

3. Writing.

4. Sleeping.

5. Everything else, in various orders.

Note that I list school first. That's because it is. If it means that I have to miss a meal to be in class on time, or finish a test, I'll do it. If it means not sleeping one night to finish homework, I'll do it. School, and doing well, is that important to me. I've done all of the above several times.

Writing in this context means creative writing, not this blog. That's why the blog sometimes slips, even though I'm still writing everyday. I'm sorry for that, but I'm not going to bump it up on the priority list.

Now, I won't miss a meal to write. But I will stay up late, even if it means I only get 4 hours of sleep instead of 5. I've decided that writing is more important to me, and suddenly, I've been able to write every day. It's amazing what setting your priorities - your values - can really do for you.

Take a minute to ask yourself: What are your values?

Then, stop and ask: Am I telling myself the truth?

If you are, you will truly prioritize those things at the top over others, even to the detriment of others. But if that's just what you say your values are, then that won't be reflected in what you actually do with your time. It's worth thinking about and examining. I created my list, and wrote it down, and I constantly remind myself of what my priorities are. I still have to remind myself of what my priorities are, and I do so all the time. But because I do so, I stick to them. I suggest that if you're having trouble finding the time to do something that you say is a high priority for you, you do the same. It's what worked for me, and it might just work for you.

Beautiful Torture

This post doesn't have a lot of words, because a picture is worth a thousand words. Note that I'll still talk a bit because, well, that's how I roll. I'm super busy with school, I don't get to read a lot lately. Here's a picture of the books I have sitting, waiting for me to read, that I'm not letting myself touch until I have time to read one cover to cover. Because that's also how I roll.

There's two more that aren't pictured here, little known things by the names of Ender's Game and A Game of Thrones. They're both on a bookshelf somewhere, but they will get read.

I also have a copy of Unfettered on order. Please also note that there are two sequels to The Warded Man, with two more books planned. Redshirts is a standalone. The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms is the first in a trilogy. Gardens of the Moon is the first in a 10 book series, totaling over 10k pages, and 3.3 million words. The sequel to The Lies of Locke Lamora is out, and there are what appear to be 5 more books coming. The next book is a writing book. The Shasht war and Doom's Break are the second and third books in a trilogy. The two Alcatraz books are the first two of four, with a fifth planned, and The Name of the Wind is the first in a trilogy, of which two are currently out.

So yeah, if I like the books that are there, I have plenty to read for a long time. Not to mention the Game of Thrones or Ender's Game books. Not to mention that Brandon Sanderson has three MORE books scheduled to come out this year. (Yeah, and A Memory of Light already came out. How's that for lots of writing?) Not to mention that I also have a few more books that I want to order. I want to try out Brent Weeks, for example, and will be ordering his entire Night Angel Trilogy (cheaper than buying the individual books) soon.

November is going to be a particularly hard month for me. I'll try to explain why as succinctly as I can. NaNoWriMo. Catching Fire. Words of Radiance.

And with that, I've tortured myself enough for the day. I'm going to go do some schoolwork, so that hopefully, I'll have time over the winter break to at least start on some of these books. :(